Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
this is an emotional support booty call
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
