Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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