Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
