You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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