my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
