he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
