i was born a porn star she said
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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