We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
