I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
