Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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