Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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