I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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