this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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