you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
