He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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