about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
