tell your sister to shave her snatch
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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