I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
