After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
