There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
