this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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