Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
