so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
