let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
