He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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