she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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