so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
