So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
