It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
