I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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