found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
