I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The beer is more important than you right now.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
