Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
