Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
