I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
