I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
