Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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