Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
