she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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