we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He did a backflip because drugs
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
