Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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