The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize