as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
