Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
