Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
