after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
