Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
