Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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