did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm like, not good at living.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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