I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
