Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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