Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
