if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
