everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
