News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
